Worksheet 9.1 · Module 9: The Invitation

The Ask Audit

Naming the negotiation — and practicing the shift to invitation.

The discomfort of asking doesn't begin with the ask. It begins when you have to acknowledge what you want. This worksheet names the internal experience precisely, maps the weight you carry into asks, and practices the shift from asking as a test of worth to asking as an invitation.

The reframe

The goal is not confidence. The goal is clarity. Clarity about what you have to offer, who it is for, and your relationship to the outcome. When the ask comes from clarity, you are no longer asking for validation. You are extending an invitation.

Section 1 of 5
The Internal Experience
What actually happens in you when you approach a direct ask — before you do anything.
When do you first notice the discomfort? What is the earliest signal that the negotiation is beginning?
Before the conversation? When you're writing the message? When you're about to send it? Name the precise moment.
When does asking feel natural for you — what conditions make an ask feel more like an invitation?
Section 2 of 5
The Meaning You Attach
The weight you carry into asks lives here. Naming it is the first step toward setting it down.
A yes appears to mean:
A no appears to mean:
What is the underlying question — the thing the answer appears to determine about you?
"If they say no, it means ___." Write the honest version, not the rational one.
Section 3 of 5
Name the Negotiation
In your exact language — what does the negotiation sound like when it begins?
Write the specific questions that appear. Not the sanitized version — the actual internal voice:
Am I asking for too much? Am I ready? What if they say no? What if they say yes? Write yours — the specific questions in your specific voice.
Section 4 of 5
Practice the Shift
Take one ask you have been postponing. Write it both ways.
The ask you've been postponing:
As a test of worth — all the weight:
As an invitation — what you're making available:
What do you notice about the difference in how each version feels?
Section 5 of 5
Write the Ask
Clean. Direct. The invitation, not the performance. No hedging, no apology, no over-explanation.
The ask as an invitation. What you have, who it's for, what you're extending. Written as if you are clear about the value and comfortable with either outcome.
Worksheet 9.1 — Completion Marker
This worksheet is complete when the negotiation is named in your own voice and the shift has been practiced:

"My negotiation sounds like ___. The version that is an invitation rather than a test: ___."

Worksheet 9.2 · Module 9: The Invitation

The Congruent Ask

The words match the work. The invitation matches the need. The person feels free to choose.

The asks that land are rarely the most polished. They are the most honest. This worksheet maps the conditions that were present when an ask worked — and uses them to build the congruent version of an ask you need to make right now.

The three conditions

You know what you have to offer. The person understands what they need. The invitation is free of outcome attachment. When all three are present, the ask requires almost nothing — because it is true.

Section 1 of 5
Recall the Ask That Landed
The conversation that felt less like selling and more like two people deciding together. Write what happened.
Describe the conversation — the context, how the ask was made, what was said:
What was different about this ask compared to others? What made it feel like itself?
Section 2 of 5
Map the Conditions
Which of the three conditions were present when that ask landed?
Condition 01 — Clarity about the offer
Was this present? What did clarity look like in that conversation?
Condition 02 — Recognition already present
Had the person already been paying attention? What evidence was there?
Condition 03 — Free of outcome attachment
Were you comfortable with either outcome? How did that show up in the conversation?
Section 3 of 5
The Current Gap
An ask you need to make right now — and which condition is thinnest.
The ask you need to make:
Which of the three conditions is thinnest for this ask? What would strengthen it?
Section 4 of 5
Write the Congruent Version
The honest, direct invitation. Not the hedged version. Not the pressured version.
What you have. Who it's for. What you're extending. What you're inviting them toward. Written as if the words match the work and the person feels free to choose.
Section 5 of 5
Practice the Freedom
The responses that hold the space open without filling it with pressure.
When they say "I need to think about it" — what do you say?
When they go quiet after the ask — what do you do?
When they say no — what is the response that keeps the relationship intact?
Worksheet 9.2 — Completion Marker
This worksheet is complete when the congruent ask is written — honest, direct, free of outcome weight:

"The ask that needs to be made: ___. Written as a congruent invitation: ___."

Worksheet 9.3 · Module 9: The Invitation

The Avoided Ask

Not because it is unreasonable. Because it exposes the edge of your current identity.

The ask you consistently avoid is not pointing toward your limitation. It is pointing toward your next expansion. This worksheet names it specifically, identifies what it is pointing toward, and writes it as the invitation it actually is.

The reframe

Permission Granted™ is not about eliminating the question "am I allowed to want this?" forever. It is about recognizing it when it appears and choosing consciously rather than automatically. The ask you avoid is the invitation waiting to be extended.

Section 1 of 5
Name the Avoided Ask
Not the general category. The specific ask. The one that feels like too much.
What is the specific ask you consistently don't make — the one that feels like overstepping or wanting more than you're allowed to want?
The partnership you haven't approached. The stage you haven't asked for. The price you haven't charged. The visibility you haven't claimed. The recognition you haven't requested. Name it specifically.
What is it about this specific ask that feels like "too much"?
Section 2 of 5
The "I Want More" Map
Check what applies — and add what's specific to you.
More impact
More visibility
More responsibility
More compensation
More room
More recognition
More life
To be fully seen
What else? The specific version of "more" that is yours:
Section 3 of 5
The Rules Underneath
What implicit limit have you been living by? The ceiling that was installed — by whom, and when?
What is the rule you have been living by that makes this ask feel like too much?
"People like me don't ___." "It's not my place to ___." "I need to earn the right to ___ first." Write the rule as it actually sounds.
When was this rule built? Where did it come from?
Section 4 of 5
The Expansion It's Pointing Toward
The avoided ask is an expansion signal. What is it pointing toward?
If I made this ask, what would become available?
What would change about the work?
What would change about the life?
Complete the sentence: "The ask I avoid is pointing directly toward ___."
Section 5 of 5
Write the Avoided Ask as an Invitation
Not to send immediately. To see. What does it look like written directly, without the performance of not wanting too much?
"The question underneath: am I allowed to want this?"
The avoided ask, written as a direct invitation:
Write it clean. No hedging. No apology for wanting what you want. The invitation, extended.
Worksheet 9.3 — Completion Marker
This worksheet is complete when the avoided ask is named specifically and the expansion it points toward is identified:

"The ask I avoid: ___. The expansion it is pointing toward: ___. Written as an invitation: ___."